When the Adults Change, Everything Changes: Why You Matter Too

Hey lovely grown-ups,

Let’s have a little heart-to-heart today 💛. You know I’m all about emotions, little monsters, and giving our kids the tools to navigate their big feelings — but here’s the truth we cannot ignore:

In order to help them, we have to start with us.

There’s this brilliant book I read back in my teaching days called When the Adults Change, Everything Changes by Paul Dix (yep, a total game-changer). The core idea is that when we as adults adapt the way we behave, teach, and respond, it transforms how children behave and learn.

Sounds simple, right? But OH, how hard that is when you’re tired, burnt out, running on empty, and the toddler’s gone full stiff-board refusing to get in the car seat 😩 (we’ve all been there).

Here’s the thing: all behaviour is communication.

That car seat struggle? It’s not just defiance. Maybe the strap is rubbing their leg, maybe they’re anxious about where you’re going, maybe their little brain didn’t get time to switch gears between activities. But when we’re running on fumes, it’s SO easy to just snap back with frustration.

And here’s where the psychology comes in:

👉 Kids need co-regulation first before they can self-regulate.

👉 They learn emotional language and resilience from us.

👉 If our tank is empty, we have nothing left to co-regulate with.

That’s why your mental health matters.

It’s not a luxury; it’s not selfish.

It’s survival.

When I was deep in postnatal depression, I had nothing left to give emotionally. I wasn’t role-modelling self-regulation; I was barely holding myself together. And I want you to hear this from someone who’s been there: finding your joy, making time for the things that light you up, whether it’s sitting quietly with a cuppa, walking by the sea, playing your favourite video game, painting, dancing in the kitchen - that’s not frivolous.

That’s essential.

Because when you’re filled up, you can step back and look at your child’s behaviour through a softer, more curious lens. You can ask:

✨ What is this behaviour telling me?

✨ How can I support them through this?

✨ How can we co-regulate so they learn to regulate themselves?

And honestly? That’s the magic.

That’s why I created Worley’s Big Kid Klubhouse - a space just for YOU. A space to leave the adulting behind, to laugh, play, get messy, spark creativity, and unleash your inner child. Because when you reconnect with play and joy, you come back to your family more resourced, more regulated, and more able to be the grown-up your little ones need.

We run events throughout the year, in different locations, to make sure you get that space. So go check out the Events Page on the website to see what’s happening near you. 🥳

You are allowed to take up space. You are allowed to fill your own cup. You are allowed to be you … not just the parent version of you.

Because when the adults change, everything really, truly changes. 💛

So, what’s stopping you? Go on — check out the events page, book yourself into a Big Kid Klubhouse session, and let’s show the world that grown-ups can play too. 💥 Your future self (and your little monsters) will thank you for it. 💛

👉 Head over now and see what’s waiting for you: www.worleysworld.co.uk/event-list